Dear Texting Driver:
In case you've failed to heed the warnings, perhaps NOW you understand why it is STUPID to text & drive at the same time. I hope you sh*t your pants as you skid 50 ft. down the wet street in a (successful) attempt not to smack My Ezmerelda's rear end. And I also hope you appreciated The Glare you received as I stared at you while you backed up out of the oncoming traffic and got back in line behind me. Perhaps the next time you think about texting and driving, you will remember today and how it almost didn't work out so well!
Oh, and one other thing, for your safety and that of everyone else on the road, you MIGHT consider replacing those bald tires!
The Person You Almost Hit