Saturday, September 19, 2009

The Joys of Public Servitude

Quite regularly, I thank my lucky stars that I do not have to work the front counter at my office very often. Number one, I'm not what you would call the "ideal" person to be dealing with the public. Number two, there are some scary characters that appear in our office.

Those who do regularly work the counter tell all kinds of horror stories about the stinkies, the drunks, the grossies, and the out-and-out crazies who come to our floor. And I have actually seen the Blue Man that they so often talk about. I kid you not: this man is quite literally blue from head to toe. Like ... dead man walking kind of blue. Creepy!

This week, however, we had a lady who absolutely takes the cake in weird, gross, and ick! Wanna see? Are you sure? Absolutely sure? You better be b/c you can't erase this from the eyeballs once it's there. Still curious? Alright. Just remember, I've warned you!

Click here to see

This, my friends, is a lady who wants to be in the Guinness Book of World records for having the longest fingernails (a record currently held by this lady). She has been growing out those beauties for 40 years. Count 'em ... FORTY! Her hand is actually now deformed, if you'll notice, and no longer usable for anything other than a nail holder. Should she decide to give up her quest for World Record Nails, it's not as simple as one might think. She can no longer cut those babies on her own. Nope. She has to go to the hospital to have them cut or even trimmed. Why, you may be wondering? Well, b/c the nerves and blood vessels have grown down into those long nails. You know how you're not supposed to let Fido's nails get to long b/c the "quick" grows along w/ the nail & then you risk cutting it and causing great pain & bleeding? Yeah. Well. Same goes for us if we let our nails grow to crazy lengths. Mind you, it takes a lot longer for this to happen to us than it does for Fido. But still. Imagine having to go to the hospital for a manicure. And speaking of manicures. Notice those fangs of hers are painted. What nail salon do you think would come within 10 feet of those things?! I'm doubtin' any. What about you?

2 comments:

JanaRae said...

Now, see, I never knew WHY I needed to cut Howard's nails so often, and thus I've been bad about doing it. Now, though, I know better. We'll get this done SOON!
(unless I can learn to do it myself---maybe this is just the motiviation I needed)
:-)
(and yes, ICK!)

Ruth Rachel Vendsel said...

Sus -- quite possibly the creepiest thing I have ever seen!