Thursday, June 11, 2009

Open Letter

Dear Bad Driver:

In the future, when lights are blinking, you should (a) assess the intersection while you are stopped at the blinking red light and (b) look for pedestrians who are trying to cross the street. This morning, you were clearly in a hurry and chose to do neither of these things. Lucky for YOU, the PEDESTRIAN* was paying attention when she made her harrowing trek across the street in the pouring rain. Had the pedestrian not been paying attention? Well, let's just say that both you and she WOULD HAVE HAD A VERY BAD DAY!!!!!!! Seriously! You would have run her over. And at the speed you were traveling, I'm not sure she would have survived it. I hope you shit your pants when she screamed at you as you passed within inches of her, you jackass!+


* Oh yeah, that pedestrian was ME!!!
+ Had I thought of it quickly enough, I would have thrown my umbrella across your windshield. Damn! Why didn't I think of it sooner?! You needed that little lesson in driving responsibly, you jerk!

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