Thursday, April 13, 2006

Holy Week Blues

It's interesting that Rachel's post this week reflects many of my own feelings about Holy Week. While her frustration is with the distractions of juggling a job and school with her deep desire to reflect upon her faith, mine stems from being a part of worship. I know that sounds strange, but allow me to explain.

As a church musician, and particularly one upon whom many depend to lead, I find myself stretched thin during Holy Week. From Palm Sunday to Easter, the life of a church musician revolves around preparation for the next service of worship. By the time Holy Week has concluded, I will have sung at least three rehearsals and in at least six services. Don't misunderstand me, I love being a part of worship, and I particularly enjoy the liturgy and music that accompanies this season. However, I do find that the preparation and participation in worship can sometimes detract from my own enjoyment of each service. I find myself more concerned with what comes next than with the meaning of what comes next. I don't allow myself to truly contemplate the season and service but rather simply provide that contemplation for others through the music of worship.

So as I prepare to sing the Maundy Thursday/Good Friday service this evening, I hope to do so more with an attitude of reflection than one of responsibility. I pray that you will do the same--lay responsibility aside and truly worship.


Ruth Rachel Vendsel said...

I have heard this concern/complaint from many church musicians and leaders of worship. I suppose one thing to do is to seek God's grace for mindfulness and to take a rest from leading from time to time? Hope that despite the busy-ness we both encounter this week, you will be blessed, my friend?

Mara said...

I can see how it would be all too easy to get caught up in the details of rehearsal, school,work and home life and then figure out a way to take time out to reflect on your relationship w/ God-be it during Easter time or any other time for that matter. I have lots of opinions on this, but to me the bottom line for me is to do the best you can do in all things but don't get too consumed with what others think about your performance. You perform to give glory to God and to share your love and faith with others. Folks will see that, even if you do miss a note. Keep your intentions in the front of your mind, and have faith in yourself. You also need balance-between spending time with God and spending time w/ practice. I constantly battle with finding balance in my life due to work, so I know how hard it is to truly prioritize everything that's going on. It will all work out though....always does. As Mom always tells me, "God will never give you more than you can't handle". I wish I had the same amount of faith in me that God has!

Susan said...

Thank you both for your insightful comments on prioritizing duty to the church with true worship. It has truly been a blessed Easter as I strive to be an earnest and honest leader of worship. I hope the two of you found it the same.